Pre-Programmed to Fear

Good morning ladies,

“I’m too old”, “I can’t do that”, “She’s much younger”…where did those ideas come from?  Why do we sometimes think that new things are so out of our reach?  I think it’s because we’re afraid.  We’re afraid of failure…what if I tried and I told people and I didn’t succeed.  We’re afraid of criticism…if I say I’m going to go out on a limb and say I’m going to try something so far reaching I’ll be laughed at either to my face or behind my back just from voicing a desire.  We’re afraid of achieving…I tried, I succeeded…now what, will I be expected to do something new again, I’ll get too much attention.  What if I fall?

Failure 5

We’ve been programmed to be afraid since birth or at least those are my earliest recollections of programming my children.  When they began crawling.  “Don’t go by the stairs, you’ll fall”.  When they began walking, “here, hold my hand so you don’t fall and hurt yourself”.  When they go to school and we buy them the girly or boyish back pack even when they like Dora (as my son Pry Pry did) because I didn’t want him to be teased.  Need I go on?  We are programmed from infancy to be afraid, be cautious, then as we get older to be like everyone else so we aren’t singled out.

Failure 6

In my mind are dozens of inventors, painters, writers, entrepreneurs…the list goes on and on of people who went out on a limb and failed, FAILED BIG TIME and they didn’t die of embarrassment!!! We think we’re going to, we think the world is going to open up and take is down to the fiery center or maybe we’re pissed because it doesn’t open up and eat us whole and we have to walk around saying, “no, I didn’t make it to….(insert whatever it is you were striving for)”.  It’s like striving for something isn’t seen as a positive anymore if it takes us out of our comfort zone.  The truth is we won’t always succeed.  We will fail and we then have an amazing opportunity to either toughen our skin and get back in the game or go lay on the sofa and watch the game in the safety of our current existence.

Failure 4

The first time you are laughed at to your face is the toughest, once you get past that one it gets easier.  The first time you get to tell people “that didn’t work out” and you get back up, tweak it and try again it gets easier.  The first time we speak up to authority and we aren’t fired it gets easier to speak up.  The trick is doing it the first time.

Failure 2

I feel like I’m always writing about taking chances, going for the dream, reaching a little bit higher and that’s because it’s always on my mind.  I am constantly striving or thinking about striving or planning a good strive outward past my comfort zone.  Sometimes it works out and many many many other times it doesn’t but it always makes me feel proud that I took the chance, went out on that distant limb.  It makes me proud to be a mom when I try to allow my kids to fall and skin their knees knowing I’d rather have them a little scraped up than afraid of the fall.

Dream Big

The only way to re-program yourself is to see the fear and go for it anyway.  I met a woman last night who has been through training 3 times to run a 5K and she’s doing the training again.  She keeps getting up and going for it, believing that this time she will get there. In the YT Weight Loss Support Group there are women who have fallen into a vat of SUMMER and put back on a few of the pounds they initially lost but they are getting back up and trying again.  They are afraid that they won’t succeed but I think more than that they are afraid of saying they are going to try again to all the people who they have already told, “this is the last time, I’m going to get to my goal weight now” and they haven’t yet.  Shit yes, it’s embarrassing but what’s the alternative, to give up all together?  Another friend is going back to school to finish her accounting degree, she had to walk into the college at an age where she could be the mother of many of the “youngers” there and talk to a counselor.  She’s afraid she won’t be able to keep up with the load of school work, school age children…she starts school next week.

Failure

Fear, the only way to get past it is through it.  Take baby steps, when you see the spider that makes your skin crawl and fear creeps up into you and you want to call to your husband to kill it, kill it yourself!

Fear

Getting through fear will definately be Getting Your Sweat On

Your Turn

Mel

 

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One thought on “Pre-Programmed to Fear

  1. You are spot on! Thank you for your encouraging words! I face many fears – and am working through them one at a time. Thank you for being transparent and sharing your heart.

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