Slurping From the Breast

Good morning ladies,

I am writing this in the very early morning, midnight and a few minutes on Friday morning.  I just read a post about August being National Breast Feeding Month and how a few women are leading a crusade to support women who feed their babies period, bottle or breast.

I happily and unhappily, in some cases, nursed all 5 of my babies for a very short or mid length period of time.  Alex I nursed for only a short time because I was young and I listened to others about how bottle feeding was best…it allows dads to feed, you know how much they are eating…blah blah blah.  When I had Molly the tables turned and it was important to breast feed.  I pumped when I went to work, I pumped before I had any alcoholic beverage…blah blah blah.  Fast forward many years later to when I had Clarke and I wanted to nurse him FOREVER!!!  I would have nursed him until he was 2 if I didn’t want to quit when he was 9 months old.  Pryor I assumed would want to nurse as much as all the other kids but he HATED nursing.  In the hospital he refused to latch on; I blamed it on the C-section, I blamed it on the fact that I wasn’t able to bond with him immediately after he was born, I blamed it on the stupid light he had to wear for jaundice.  It was horrible to be unwanted by my own baby.  I took him home and we tried and tried and he cried and cried.  I remember calling the La Leche  group and feeling like a failure because I wanted to quit.  When I began bottle feeding him his crying lessened and my nerves were soothed.  Bottle feeding was like a miracle to me.  When I had Walter I wanted to nurse him but I wanted to loose weight more.  It was a constant struggle to eat extra “nursing” calories while I was working out like a mad woman to lose all this fat I had on me.  I hated nursing him but I refused to tell anyone for fear of being told, “it’s all worth it, there is nothing more important than what you are giving him”.

Before Walter, I was a nursing snob.  I would tell everyone and anyone all about the nursing benefits and ask rather rudely, “why can’t you” like of course they wanted to but their boobies must be broken or maybe I wanted to hear about other babies rejecting their mothers like Pryor did to me. Not wanting to nurse Walter changed me, I knew I wasn’t mean or horrible or selfish to want to bottle feed him, I just didn’t want to; I knew it didn’t make me a terrible mother.  I also realized that there were probably many reasons that other women wouldn’t want to nurse their babies and that it was OK. Nursing or bottle, as long as you are feeding him/her something you’re doing a GREAT job!!!

I look at all my kids now, the ones nursed and the ones not nursed much and they are all just fine.  My nursed ones have had ear infections, colds and the flu.  My not nursed long ones have also had colds, ear infections and the flu.  Not one of them are of similar intelligence of Einstein even though it was an unspoken fable that if you nursed they would be BRILLIANT!!!  Lie:  If you nursed they would NEVER be sick. LIE:  If you didn’t nurse you were a horrible mother, uncaring and would certainly end up scarring your child for life with ill health and ignorance.  

I remember how LOUD Walter nursed, he made the most vulgar sucking, slurping noises that you were certain that something sexual was happening under the blanket that he HATED to have over his head.  Oh the looks I would get 🙂  I remember having a bottle propped up to Pry Pry in his car seat while I was talking to a friend in Meijer.  There were looks too but they seemed disgusted at my blase feeding attitude.  My boss was disgusted at the time I would take to pump a bottle for Molly.  He didn’t say anything but it was a sore spot between us.  You can’t fucking win; you lose either way.

Each mother knows what’s right for her with each child, breast or bottle.  National Breastfeeding Month is fantastic for those who choose that road, for those who feel inadequate because they can’t it’s like a slap in the face.  For those who just plain ol don’t want to, good for you for sticking to your guns. All the kids, as long as they are fed something will end up just fine and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Get Your Sweat On

Your Turn



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