Cameleon of Life

Good morning ladies,

On Sunday evenings I have started making Jimmy and I go out for coffee to a restaurant near the house because I feel we are so all over the place during the week that I need an hour to reconnect without kids talking.  We have been leaving at 7 and are usually a little stiff with each other for the first ½ hour.  By 7:30 we are both leaning in across the table and usually we are holding hands.  By 8, when it is time to go home I feel so great, reconnected and ready to take on the week.  I feel secure again and certain that we are such a great pair.  In those moments I am so confident in us but it got me thinking last night do I ever feel that confident about who the ME is all alone.

My closet is full of hats; mommy hat, wife hat, YT hat, friend hat, protector hat, fierce lion hat…many times I have more than one on at the same time.  Often the hats are so big I am unseen in them and I sense I have been lost or smothered or cannot figure out who the REAL ME is.

As I sit here contemplating where this blog is going I am curious who I am.  Words came to my mind like vulnerable, but then I don’t know if that is WHO I am.  Another word that came to me was confident but like everyone else I have moments when I am uncertain and even afraid.  I am determined and even fierce in where I am headed.  In any given moment I am probably 6 different words all at the same time but are those words WHO I AM?  There are times I am a liar, there are times I am angry, there are times I am jealous and bitter but I don’t think any of those are WHO I AM.  I guess that means I am a cameleon, I am what I need to be at any given moment based upon the circumstances.  That bugs me.  I want to KNOW who I am.  I want to be able to sit at a table with only me and feel as confident in myself as I feel at 8pm with Jimmy and me.  I wonder if that is possible…

Ever Uncertain

Ever Uncertain

I’ve been at this blog for almost an hour now and I don’t feel I am getting any closer and I am pretty certain that I am now using this blog to just babble about inner feelings and thoughts.  However, I’m going to send this out into the blog world anyway because I am so curious…DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?  Is anyone out there who reads this CONFIDENT that they can say with absolute certainty that they know WHO YOU ARE?  If you do, how do you know?  Is it the YOU that you show most often?  Is it the YOU that you feel when you are alone?  Hmmm, let’s share.

Happenings This Week:

Monday

  • 6:30pm – YT Weight Loss Support Group – Personal Trainer and Fitness Instructor Zac will be speaking about the difference between cardiovascular/endurance fitness and weight training on the body.

Thursday

  • 9:30am – Group Meditation – Meet at the YT Office on S. Westnedge
  • 6:30pm – C25K in Three Rivers – Meet at the George Washington Carver Center
  • 6:30pm – C25K in Kalamazoo – Meet at the YMCA of Greater Kalamazoo on Maple St
  • 7:30pm – Hill Training in Kalamazoo – Meet at the YMCA of Greater Kalamazoo on Maple St.

WHEWWW, light week for YT this week.

Get Your Sweat On!!!

Your Turn

Mel

 

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Cameleon of Life

  1. The TR C25K meets at 6:00 on Thursdays. Anyone that wants to rum with a group is welcome to come; you don’t have to be following the same plan we are – will be week 7 day 1. We meet at the George Washington Carver Center (across from the high school).

    Make it a great day everyone!!!

    Sara

  2. I so enjoy reading your posts I realize that I don’t know who I am either. What I have been thinking is that I am tired of being defined by other people or even sometimes how I define myself. There are certain labels I do not want to have attached to myself.

    Sent from my iPod

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