Good morning ladies,
The other day I wrote about patience being an action verb; I’m unsure how it exactly ties into my anxiety attach the other night but somehow I feel it does.
Wednesday night I was sitting in the living room telling Jimmy how the rest of my week was open during the day, I told him how the kids and I were going to sleep in and go to a movie and the park as the weather warms up. I mentioned that the ONLY thing I needed to do was run my FAST 30 minutes because I didn’t get it in that day AND THEN….THEN one thing after another hit me; Meditation Group at 9:30, YT Gathering at 12:10 and Dawn is on vacation, Alex Dr. Apt at 1:45, Alex job interview at 5pm, meeting with the editor at 5:30…ANXIETY GRIPPED a hold of me and I began to SWEAT. All these things AND I have the boys home on Spring Break!!! How in the hell am I going to do this?
Wait, wait, wait…calm down, breathe, (insert mental self talk “you’ve got this, get a hold of Mary Beth and let her know that you will not be able to attend meditation but that you will be there to open the door for her, take the boys to the Y during group meditation and you can get your swim in and steam and shower, pick up lunch for the boys as a bribe and treat for being good during the gathering, be back to the YT Office at 11:45 to set up chairs and a table and print off the hand-out, call Alex and tell him to get ready because you will be home to pick him up for his dr apt, run gathering, be out of the office by 1:10, get home, get Alex, be 5 minutes late for dr but it won’t be late enough for them to cancel on you, after apt get home, charge phone and eat, run, leave house at 4:40 for Alex interview, call Jimmy have Jimmy meet up with you and exchange kids and car, you go to editor apt”).
OK, not an uneventful day but certainly doable. Mental self talk calmed me right down; not the day I expected to have but certainly a fun filled day and with a proper plan. Days like this are LIFE, they are what we do. I had the choice to have a complete freak out or make a plan.
On the DAY, the day I had the plan set in place for I woke up and got to work, packed food for the car for when I feel anxiety and so I had something to eat instead of snacking on the boys food that I would buy from a fast food restaurant. I packed my gym bag and my work bag; I was ready. Did the day work out exactly as I planned it to…not to the T but it did work out, I made it to everything on my list within the time frame I needed to. Did I run my FAST 30 minutes, no but I did run an easy 30 minutes and that was better than doing nothing. I got my swim in and it was much better than the last time I got into the water. It wasn’t a perfect day but it was a day that I made it through and went to bed with a headache but with self-pride that I did it.
Old Mel would have buried her head in the blankets and cancelled amost everything, I used to be a procrastinator. When I would get too overwhelmed I would just burrow and watch TV; I’m proud to say that I used all the skills I have at my disposal, focus on breathing I learned through meditation, self-talk I learned through counseling, running while I am exhausted was learned through experience that when we exercise it gives us MORE energy instead of the opposite. Bribery isn’t something I am proud of but I am proud of the fact that my kids see the bribe for what it is, a treat and we move on from it.
I know this isn’t very motivational or inspirational but I hope it gives you perspective that ALL things we can achieve it we calm down and make a plan and stick to it.
Today my day is as I thought Thursday was going to be, movie, park and my long run instead of my fast run. Every day is a new chance, what a great life we all live.
Get Your Sweat On