Good morning ladies,
The other night, in the middle of the night, I ended up awake watching a “CRAZY” man who has made endurance his life. He began, much like everyone else in the world, with one small idea and with that idea came a small success. I say small success because in the eyes of so many that is all it was, small, he ran a 5K. He felt such internal pride from running that first 5K that he went on to run another and another. If you are not a runner please do not stop reading because you think this is going to be about running.
“You don’t have to see the entire staircase, just the first step”; (I don’t know who wrote that and I am in a writing mood so I’m not stopping to look it up but you can, that person was probably very wise.)
When I first began becoming an adult, at 36, I hit my first big idea; I recognized I was fat. I began the first steps to success by going to the Y every other day to move that big, lumpy body. See I had spent my entire life giving myself permission to fail. I sucked at school and even though I was smart I couldn’t seem to get my shit together. I sucked as a daughter because of all the times I did wrong to my mother and dad. I sucked as a sister because I relied on her so much more than I ever allowed her to rely on me. I sucked at taking care of my own body as I shoveled in Oreo cookie after Brownie after cup of coffee without any thought to what my body needed from me. BUT when I hit my first success I felt that same pride that the man I watched on TV felt after his first 5K. That small success built for me what nothing else in the world had, pride. I would walk into that Y with my boys circling my legs or in my arms with a diaper bag falling off of one shoulder with my gym bag in the crook of the other elbow and it was the proudest I had ever been in myself. I was ENERGIZED by that pride and wanted more and more. I became addicted to feeling GREAT even though I was so sore and tired all the time. That PRIDE was my first taste of success.
Yesterday I went to Dr. Townsend, my therapist, and he re-reminded me about personal clinchers; those are the things that keep you feeling like what you are doing is worth doing even when it is hard. We talked about the differences in people and the clincher for me may not be the clincher for you. I thought about how we can achieve success, taste the pride then let it go again and get to feeling defeated, depressed and then like a failure because we totally gave up. I then thought of my kids, for one of my kids money is the clincher, he’ll do anything for a buck. For another kid is freedom, she’ll do almost anything for some freedom. The clincher is different for each of them as it probably is for each of us.
What is YOUR CLINCHER? What do you need to keep you striving, what keeps you pushing, keeps you going? There is a good change you don’t even know, maybe because you haven’t ever thought about it. Maybe it’s because you’ve always been a failure, like I was. Who cares if I fail again because that is what everyone expects of me.
I want to help you stop that way of thinking; I want to help you find that clincher. You aren’t alone in feeling like you just can’t seem to get there, I know now about 600 women who feel or have felt a similar way as you do, maybe not exactly and maybe the clincher is different but we are all in this together. We are a TRIBE and TRIBES figure shit out, right, like the spear some tribe figured that out because they couldn’t continue to wrestle animals down to the ground. Your Turn is like that, we’re that TRIBE that figures shit out.
I know you’re out there, I know you want to feel this PRIDE and I know that many of you can’t seem to figure out how. Let’s figure it out together, let’s build up this TRIBE and recreate the successes and accept the failures as learning opportunities and feel pride in them because we had the courage to try. Let’s NOT GIVE UP!! That man, the one at the beginning that I spoke of, he went from running some 5Ks to running 200 miles STRAIGHT through California in 48hours and change. That man, that CRAZY man keeps on keeping on; he found his clincher, I found mind, now all we have to do is find yours.
Get Your Sweat On