Good morning ladies,
Your Turn is SO EXCITED to announce that we have a few new bloggers, Carol Ryan and Amy Rummel, which will be contributing to our morning email/blog posts. We feel that the voice of Your Turn comes not only from Dawn and me but from YOU, the women who are changing their lives with us. Here is the first of many to come from Carol.
Last week, I pulled a Mel. I’m very excited and proud that I be like her and step into new things. I’m not bold like her. I don’t feel the Universe is on my side. I don’t believe I am able to run a marathon or have a worldwide business. Mel seems to be a natural at thinking big. I usually am pessimistic when I think about things, but this week I was like her. Let me tell you about my Mel story.
I spent my day feeling bitter and burned out. I was tired. I was bored. I was stuck. I ate McDonalds fries and drank a Diet Coke! I get this way when I’m conflicted about things. The source of my discontent was that I want to become a Body Pump instructor. I was tossing around the idea of attending BP training and my mental dialogue jumped back and forth. I didn’t want to talk to anyone about my secret desire because of my age and fitness level. I worry that I’m past my prime and doing such a thing is a foolish mid-life thing. That I would sabotage myself somehow. But my truth reminded me that I love the program. I’m good at keeping the beat and enjoy pumping iron (LOL). Besides women my age need to worry about muscles and bone density. Right? How many times has my doctor suggested calcium supplements to prevent osteoarthritis? So why shouldn’t I train? Maybe I could run a class for over 40’s. I know our local fitness club (Zimmyville Fitness) needs a sub badly. I’m busy, but I could easily sub on the rare occasions when Kena can’t teach. Besides, it would be so amazing to attend a training weekend filled with fitness gurus! It’s been decades since I attended any type of training like this. I know it would boost my fitness to a new level which is way cool.
But…. What if I….. It costs…… With the training deadline approaching I had to finally discuss the idea with my husband. He was so logical. He pointed out a million reasons why it was a bad move. He supports my fitness efforts and doesn’t want to discourage me, but he brought up some very good points. I’m distracting myself. I don’t need the expense. I might feel obligated to sub more than I can. I don’t need to become a teacher to enjoy Body Pump. I have a big assignment due the same week. It’s not part of my career path. Ugh. I hate when he’s so right. Ever try to out argue someone who went to law school?!! I agreed that he was right and said I would nix the idea.
The next day, I woke up grouchy, bitter and burned out. I felt really stressed and overwhelmed which seemed to confirm that my husband was correct about how busy I am. I fought tears but didn’t know where they came from. A woman at work saw me and immediately knew I was upset about something. I didn’t explain things, but only said I was discouraged and wondered if my priorities were right. She’s a wise woman and Pastor. She reminded me that when a person is in the steam of God’s will, they feel the opposite of burned out. That was important for me to hear. When I really examined myself, the tapped out feelings was anger. I was mad because I knew I was heading for a no. I would play it safe and take a pass on the training just because it was easier. When I considered how I spend my time, many times I do what seems necessary which is usually work, work, and work. I was frustrated that I was weak and couldn’t do what I felt was best for me.
Like a pair of old jeans that no longer fit, my people pleasing, avoidance doesn’t work anymore. I am a changed woman. Instead of feeling relieved, I felt like a volcano ready to erupt. In the midst of this moment, I called Mel. I knew she would understand how I felt and I wanted her feedback. Mel didn’t think the idea was stupid at all. She reminded me that I’m a teacher/counselor who loves to teach. (She’s right!!) Learning about new things is a natural extension for people who teach. Immediately, I felt a wash of peace come over me. I knew she said what I felt. So I pulled a Mel. I took a risk despite a million obstacles and SIGNED UP FOR TRAINING. Pastor Bonnie was right about God’s flow because my husband didn’t flip out or think I was defying him. Kena and I are clear about expectations and I can even stay with my sister during the weekend of training.
So on January 26-27th this old lady will attend Body Pump training. Hoot hoot!! I’m so jazzed because I know this is what I should do. I love when I give myself permission to grow. Instead of feeling flat, I’m energized and alive. As for my huge assignment, I will get it done. I’m a work horse when I need to be. Now that I’m energized, I’ll be able to plow through things easier. My hope is that you “Pull a Mel” someday and do something you feel is right even when all the logic that says not to.
Now, Go Get Your Sweat On!