Good morning ladies,
“Can I assist you”, the sales woman asked as you meandered through the store.
“No thank you, I am fine”, you reply even though you could use some assistance because you are looking for a size 11 and all you see are 2-4-8-18 sizes.
“I saw on FB that you aren’t doing very well”, a friend says over the phone to you.
“I don’t know why I wrote that, having a bad moment. I am fine. How are you doing?”, you reply back to her to divert the attention away from what is actually happening in your life because you don’t think she wouldn’t understand.
Is it that hard to receive help, support? Are we really that arrogant to think that we can walk through life without the assistance of others?
As a child I was told it was better to give than to receive, I think this was stated in a church service or two or ten. Well then, who gets the benefit of being the giver if no one is willing to receive? How does that work. If we are all conditioned to be on the receiving end of support then how can those givers give, who can they give to if no one is willing to accept help. How is it that the help seekers are looked down upon as weak, less than, or OBVIOUSLY DEFECTIVE in some way?
We have been conditioned to be STRONG and able ON OUR OWN to FORGE OUR OWN PATH when the truth is that none of us are able to do much ON OUR OWN. Look through your day and discover how often you are helped and in which ways you receive help without realizing it. I look around my bed room right now and can see 50 ways in which I was helped; cable, someone having manufactured my bed, dressers and the like, assistance to move the things in here, gifts from friends and family surround me from through the years. I do not consider myself weak, less than or OBVIOUSLY DEFECTIVE. I LOVE HELP! And yet there are times I am too proud to ask for it just like most other people.
I have a great friend who if asked by her husband to give her assistance in doing laundry she would tell him no because “he wouldn’t do it right”. “Show him”, I suggested. “Are you kidding, he’s only just saying it anyway. He really has NO intention of actually doing it”
What kind of crap is that let him help. Show him how to help you, guide him in how to separate, fold and add detergent. He has a JOB, he has abilities beyond what you think, let him help you, he wants to help you. Why the hell is that so hard for us to accept? Chances are because we, in some manner, enjoy being the MARTYR. We, a little bit, enjoy being the ONE WHO DOES IT ALL so we can therefore go tell all our friends how much we do and how little support we receive. It’s an ego, pride thing and instead we blame it all on our ignorant husband and his inability to help.
How about our friends; why aren’t we honest when they offer assistance? Pride maybe, we don’t want them to know we are WEAK, LESS THAN and OBVIOUSLY DEFECTIVE in some way. So in turn if they ask for help it is a little harder, a little more shameful on them.
My sister one time went to drop off drywall at the dump; it was offered for her to have assistance in either getting it to the dump or once at the dump she was offered assistance, I cannot remember which but she didn’t accept it. She spent so much time and effort getting all that scrap drywall onto the trailer, drove it to the dump and DUMPED IT HERSELF! What, “why didn’t you get help” I asked? I cannot remember my sister’s reply but I know she is VERY GOOD AT DOING MANY THINGS HERSELF! Here she could have had SERVICE WORKERS helping and she chose not to. That is what they get paid for!!! To SERVE!!
Do not be ashamed to ask for help when needed. Do not feel guilty to ask for assistance if it is required. It doesn’t make you weak, less than or obviously defective. It may not make you a martyr either but that really shouldn’t be a standard you are looking for.
Tonight at the Your Turn office we are having a gathering. At the gatherings we discuss things like, goals and how to support one another on achieving those goals. We maintain that level of accountability for the goal you have been striving for. Come join us and feel supported, helped in a manner that isn’t negative. We are a give give society and we give as much as we receive which makes it a perfect cycle. There is NO ability for you to take advantage of us because it is your job to help support another. Come to feel inspired, rejuvenated, and accomplished.
- 7pm – Your Turn Gathering @ 3234 S Westnedge Ave, Kalamazoo; we look forward to seeing you.
- 9am & noon – Kettle Bell @ YMCA on Maple St.
- 6:30pm – Runners of Constantine meeting to CELEBRATE our accomplishment of running the 5K race on Saturday at Kena’s House 70063 Sunset BLVD, Union MI
Get Your Sweat On