Good morning ladies,
It has taken me this long to be able to come up with something of value to say without it being my own negativity spewing. I awoke this morning filled with nastiness, negativity and doubt. I tried to write this email but everything I kept coming up with was me sounding nasty trying to put a nice spin on it; it wasn’t working.
Do you have mornings like that? Mornings when you wake up ready to bite, maybe you have a reason maybe not but either way it is not a pleasant way to begin a day. It has taken me 3 hours to put it all to rest.
Did you know you could just change your attitude? Did you know you have the ability to change the way you view everything around you? You can, it just takes, like most everything else, perseverance. I got up and decided NOT to bite anyone’s head off and instead ignore them, I have a lot of THEM to ignore. That didn’t work. I decided to try and write the morning email; I kept coming up with why I have every right to just feel this way sometimes. That didn’t work. Jimmy came in and tried to soothe me; that wasn’t what I wanted. That didn’t work. I tried to distract myself by cleaning a toilet, starting the dishes, switching laundry…..so what did work for me……
I took a shower and stood under the hot steamy water and felt the feelings I was having. I cried, I self talked myself that it was OK that I was feeling sad and that sometimes it is normal to feel this way. I gave myself permission to feel pissy. I allowed myself to be upset that things aren’t going as fast as I like them to. I wallowed in my misery. No one likes pissy people; everyone wants to see a smile and hear words of kindness. However, sometimes it’s OK to NOT feel like it. We are allowed to feel those things; it isn’t healthy to feel those things all day every day but an occasional bout of blues isn’t a negative thing at all.
I left that shower, having washed it all down the drain and came out clean on the inside and out. I left that shower feeling refreshed because I know it is OK. I allowed that moment; I accepted me just as I was at that very moment and felt it. It felt good. I didn’t need to explain to myself or anyone else why because I didn’t jump on anyone else this morning as I was sorting it out so I had no guilt or no need to give apologies.
As I write this I feel awesome. I have a smile on my face and anticipation about what today will bring. I am ready to leave my room and kiss my husband and smile at my kids. I love this new me.
Old Mel would have yelled, eaten, screamed and blamed my bad mood. New Mel allowed me to feel all those feelings and accept them as normal. Maybe today you didn’t wake up like me but there will be a day that you do, you’re human, and when you do I hope you bring this email out and remember to give yourself permission to feel how you feel and know that it is OK. Today is going to be AWESOME!!
Get Your Sweat On